It beginning to feel a lot like Christmas?

Normally I am in full swing by now and have music on with Christmas carols and the feeling of joy and happiness in my heart.. This year has been a little harder to get that way since the first cold snap hit Abilene last week dumping sleet and ice on us, moving my parents in the house in said ice and sleet , cooking a meal fit for 12 and only having 7 eat, and going out with the grumpiest people on earth on Black Friday and making it out with half of what we needed! I am just now getting the tree up and my ideal setup would have involved some sort of easy transition into the insanity of sparkling bulbs and tinsel. This year it is moving in boxes and boxes of stuff that makes me loathe the ideal of EVER moving again. My husband seems to think that it is fun filled moving to a new neighborhood and then trying to find my way around the city I have grown to love over the last two years I have lived here! I think that people do what they have to do in order to get by and mine is getting black trash bags and filling them full of clothes to donate and toys to give to the church so that they will have more things that babies can drool on and have fun with. In my head I am imagining a table with a red tablecloth and a house full of laughter and happiness that will start in less than three weeks as Christmas will come and go like the other Holidays this year!! My reality may be the screaming of kids fighting over the red spoon that my youngest uses on a daily basis and the sounds of war coming from my bedroom while the husband plays another round of Call of Duty .... 

This week I will start the festivities by digging out every imaginable decoration and smile as my  house fills with the scent of Cinnamon and the house is decorated with everything to help my spirits . Next will be the trip to the Abilene moms premier/ my favorite things party and then onto the parade of lights!! Hopefully by the end of those things I'll be right where I need to be. No my house will not look like the newest edition of Better Homes and Gardens, but one can only dram of the dreamy look of a fireplace lit with stockings and garland on every imaginable surface in the house. 

The Real Thanksgiving : What media and Black Friday has done to the once giving holiday.

So I am sitting here watching TV and noticing the amount of Black Friday ads. Its sad that we have went from a country of sitting down with family and enjoying the bounty's of the year, to now a shopping spree to buy a new 60in Smart LED TV half the price it was before. We have went from giving to a whole bunch of Scrooges!!  As a child ( probably 7) I remember the smell of the turkey and the laughter of my family as the kids played in the backyard. I remember the prayer of thanks we said to God and the closeness we had. The last Thanksgiving  I had with my grandmother was 3 years ago, the last one with my Family was 5 years ago. I have lost touch with most of my family... Most of it is differences, some of it is being too busy. I long for the Days Santa was in December and that we had to wait for the best sales to happen on Black Friday.  I wish the old days would come back for a few days so that my children can feel the same way I did. I cant wait to see the countless news stories of people running to get the TV that they wanted and end up getting in the mess of push and shove. I cant wait for the news that consumers are still not quite getting bottom dollar on these early sales only to find out they could have bought it for twenty dollars less a week later.. I cant wait to do my last minute shopping just like my mom did and still be able to make my daughter and sons Christmas just as special. I am going to stay home hugging my children and enjoy the Parade and sip my coffee and then focus on the next big day....

Moving and The Holidays

I am so glad to be done with the apartments from the 8th ring of Hades!!!! While Most times I am grateful that I have a place to live but the level of privacy was slim to none.. The staff there until the very end was rude and awful to my family.. I am so glad to moved and into a house! We are now the proud renters of a 1,600 sq ft house.. I am so ready for the holidays and ready to start anew.. The only complaint I have is that the traffic makes it hard to get places in a hurry.. I am so glad to have a Yard and trees as the other place was a concrete prison.. I was given a place that I could move around a breath... Now I can sit and read the Dallas Morning news, Abilene Reporter news and my Facebook with full view of a beautiful yard and the kids playing.. I somewhat hope that we can get snow this year so I can stare out the window at that. The Holidays are approaching fast and I am planning Thanksgiving dinner ( even though my Kitchen is no where near unpacked or ready)  and Christmas!!! I am dreaming of a house filled with warmth as my family ( the hubby and kids, my parents and my FIL and his friend will be here). I think I am looking forward to trying to Hide the gifts from the kids so that they wont eve have a clue of what we are doing..  The hubs is trying his best to Make his shop Happen and well since we had more stuff than we thought we are having to move it around and get it started.. I know we are going to the Parade again this year and we are going to dress more warm than the last year because it got down right chilly. I am ready to play Christmas music and decorate the house with all the lights and smells of the holidays. It doesnt seem real that 2013 is almost over. I am glad however to ring in another year and another chance to live life the way the Lord wants me to. So here is to moving , the holidays and the new year!!!

What Lurks after dark in abilene?

I have stated to many times that I believe Abilene has a history that outlives itself.  Many people tell stories about the Grace and Pine St. shootout.. I wonder if there is really a history that replays itself !! I loved listening to ghost stories as a kid and I was always the curious one out of the group.. As a kid my dad used to tell me " there is no such thing as ghosts."  After a few experiences I was pretty sure.. After I grew up I became more and more a skeptic... Things just didn't spook me anymore and I was able to sit there and laugh at people swearing up and down somewhere was haunted.. I did all the usual silly little haunts ad stuff while I was a teenager in Dallas.. Now that I moved out here it is no joke that even my own apartment has its guests.. I have sworn up and down that there is no such thing as ghosts until I moved into this place. So what really lurks after dark here .. So this October I have decided to go to the Ghost tours in Buffalo Gap and Haunted Abilene!!  I am going to find a way to find the truth.. maybe prove them all wrong with a picture of something unexplained!! Hey you never know!!!

Fall Season, Sick kids, school & Moving

I have been off the computer a lot because between packing, sick kids on here watching movies, and getting some sleep. I have loathed the idea of moving and the fact if I don't get help it will be me alone moving boxes and furniture down the steep and otherwise dangerous traps of death I call stairs.  I have been in the haze of 6 am wake ups and cleaning up after three very healthy ( minus the cold and tummy flu) kids. Honestly I love this time of year, to me it is a kind of death of the year.. I mean are we really 94 days away from New Years?  I think of it as if it started crappy it might as well end with a bang.. Mine is going to end with brown boxes and new neighbors!!! I am honestly scared to death about moving again. What kind of neighborhood will I live in and what will it be like at night? Will I be able to sip coffee in the mornings and listen to the endless chirping of birds and look at snow out my window? 

Kalli is doing so well in school so far and they have an attitude scale ( or "behavior scale") where they can give them a 5 for being good or a 0 where you will get to meet the lady they call the principal.  I have had my ups and downs with it all including the bus incident and the issues with her sitting down in the bus.. I think I would rather take her to school and watch her go into the room. She has gotten so far in spelling and honestly I think I love her teacher!! I hope that they will approve my transfer for her and we wont have to change schools.

The boys are trying to help me pack... well i guess pack and unpack... Kason has had his usual two steps ahead and two steps back health issues with foods and allergens..  It has been a roller coster ride with him the last few months but with him geting the hang of asking, I think we will be just fine.. I have kept all the allergens out and brought in tons of safe foods since his office visit.. Kaleb is Kaleb... He throws fits and then becomes cuddly and then the world is fine again... He has grown so much and can say over 50 words.. My favorite is " you Baby!!"

Well time for me to go , Coffee is getting cold!!

My daughter is bound to make me go grey!!!

Yesterday my daughter decided her mommy needs a new hair color (grey) . I usually always step down the steps and stand outside waiting for Her to come home from the bus stop.. Well she decided not to get off the bus and put her mother through the scariest 30 minutes of my life ( well minus the day she decided to hide under the table)... I had called the police and had them looking for her and was on and off the phone with the school and the bus barn.. Finally after 4 squad cars and 4 officers and being soaked by the rain she was brought back home by the bus.. My hubs met me across the street and was able to find me and take me back home.. As soon as I got home I asked her why she would do that, but soon after reminded her how much I love her!!  After a few hours she was in bed and sleeping .. Dinner done and homework finished.... She was safe in her own bed and she was safe at home with me.. I kept thinking last night of the many times she has scared me to death and how it seems to be a thing for her to scare me.. I have found a few grey hairs since those few times.. I realize that she has something in her that just reminds me of myself. I cannot imagine the grief I put my mom and dad through with my bought at 16 and then 18.. I was such a trouble child after 15.. I sure hope she doesn't choose to do the same thing to her father and I ... I called my my mom and told her sorry many times before... But last night I prayed that Kalli would never have to deal with the same scares when she had kids, but chuckled knowing that every child loves to do that moment where they decide to give mommy and daddy the biggest scare.. I know one day she will call me and say "mom I need to talk, my son/ daughter gave me the biggest scare ever" and ill tell her all about her...

Today she smiled  and her little brown eyes sparkled and I forgot all the worry... Will she turn me grey.. maybe....

Until then .. grow little girl and try to let mommy have her blonde hair a little longer!!

Dear Ignorant People without Food allergies

Dear Head in the Cloud ,
I am watching your precious little one scarfing down his PB&J sandwich and watching the crumbs hitting the ground. I am horrified because my child who is allergic is playing within the area of danger.. Please don't bring food to the park, the Park is for playing... Not for spreading your child's wonderful lunch all over the slide, monkey bars and swing.. Next time make junior park it in a seat and eat like all people do.. Remind your child their manners and to go wash their hands and not wipe them on every surface possible..

Dear I can do what I want parent,
Hey you seemed pretty cool at the beginning of school, but now your the biggest pain in the butt!! Your the one that pressed the PTA to allow holidays with food, so my child cant go to school the days you have parties because I am afraid for his safety.. Please refrain from bringing your arsenic covered cupcakes and poison cake so maybe my son has a chance at winning the super Santa surprise!! If it where your child, I am sure you would stomp your feet and make the entire world an allergen free place, but for now please put my child into consideration.

Dear Mr pompous windbag,
I love listening to you at the store how my sweet child will outgrow his allergies and that I am being too protective.. How bout this, ill let you play with a bottle of  nitroglycerin as you are trying to walk through a 8 lane highway and hope you make it.. See that is what going out of my house is like, food that can kill my son are all around me and well it is like walking trough a mine field.. No I am not being over protective, I am trying to keep my child alive. As for the advice of him outgrowing them , I know he can , but until his doctor tells me it is safe.. I will assume that stuff is the nastiest and most vile substance known to man

Dearest Parents ( and inlaws),
I know you loved wedding and stuff and you love my kids.. But please don't bring over foods that you know I would not let in my house on a normal basis... I have a reason for not having these items in my house. Please do not bring things you know will possibly hurt my child and please for the love of God do not feed that to them while I am not home... It can kill our precious little one. Please remember I am not trying to take away your fun, I am simply asking that you remember that this is my child and I have rules there for a reason

Dear School Officals,
 I know this will be hard for you to swallow, but so is what will happen to my child if they cannot go to school without the fear of being exposed to their allergen. I am sad that most of you still don't take my child's condition seriously and for that matter I cant understand how hard it would be to take peanuts as it would be to ban the school from having junk food and sodas..  I would love to send them to school to learn just like the rest of the kids their age . My 504 plan is not just because i want to make your lives hard, I want to make sure my child's condition is known and respected!!

Dearest Sweet Old Lady,
Yes I have to read each label!! It is part of my shopping routine.. Yes a daunting and overwhelming and very time consuming task. But to me it is well worth it because I need to make sure that my child is safe!! No I am not being picky and No my child has eaten their fair share of safe candies and other junk.. But at this time I have to make sure that what goes in their mouth or in my home is safe for them. I simply hope that the advice you gave me about relaxing will sink through, because that isn't happening until his numbers drop and I see the light at the end of the tunnel!!

Dear friends,
Please do exclude us when your child or yourself has some sort of party.. we don't want to change what you want for your special day, but if you want us to come , I need to know that I and my child  can party without the worry from my child getting into something!! I do really hope that this will continue our friendship, but if not I am doing what needs to be done with my child and if you cant except me then its obvious i don't need your judgement and or your friendship!!

Dear waiter,
Please don't screw up my order, see unlike the lady across the way that is griping about cold food, I am worried that the chef or you will make my son a toxic concoction from hell. I am hopeful that you will understand and will respect that. I came to relax and not to worry about what will go into my child. I also will tip you nicely if you at least act and do your best to care about how frazzled I am and how tired I am that i have to search every restaurant on Gods green earth to find something that they can eat!!!

Dear judgamental person,
My other children are not suffering from the lack of certain foods, they love their sibling and understand that they cannot have that item because the risks of spreading even the slightest amount of residue onto the allergic one. I know that it doesn't seem fair , but in all fairness there will be plenty of time later once they are out of my house in order to taste and explore other foods that while they where young they could not eat!

Dear everyone,
I hope that you are not one of the people that are blessed with a child that has food allergies, but if you are please remember that the world is not out to get you and that not everyone are cold hearted and hateful.. There is a ton of people with soft heart and willing minds that will make life a safe haven.. Allow time for people to understand and if you are someone that doesn't, take time to do research.. It would feel horrible if you are the cause of someones death and I believe ignorance is truly not bliss!!

HELP ME COOK FOR MY FOOD ALLERGY CHILD!!!

I have been teetering on the edge of insanity trying to cook for my three kiddos without making the same meal.. Life has been a constant alteration and supplementation of what would normally be a walk in the park !!! I cant believe I am going to say this but , I OFFICIALLY HATE COOKING! It has turned into a chore of do and don't. While most moms are pinning the wonderful egg plant parm, I am looking at the ingredients and saying this wont be possible!! I would love to make that wonderful sesame chicken that everyone is having , but my sons RAST score is high enough that I would never introduce those nasty little seeds to him. I used to make my spaghetti with lots of garlic and sometimes the occasional zucchini plant and now garlic has become a no no.. How can I cook for this child if everything is off limits?!

What I Learned as a Metro Mom

Ok so has anyone ever seen that movie "Trading Spaces?"  Ok I know it is a little rough of a movie with some of the scenes and such, but the idea is the same.. Being a Metro mom taught me that being a mom in a big city can be just as nerve racking as your first day of high school. While in a Big city you are surrounded by stores with various fashion, noise, and light!!  It is like fighting in a huge concrete jungle and you and your child are just a ant on the ground. When I had my first two little ones it was like trying to fit in and be a stranger at the same time..  No one in their right mind if they where someone would be without a Bug-a-Boo stroller or Fluer baby bag ( In which i found used and was very happy with). I did a lot of re-sale shops and a lot of consignment shopping so most times my daughter would be in styles that where eaither from the year before or right before the change.. I would be constantly trying to fit in with the trendy moms and the expensive playdate group only to find I was the last one standing ... I was not by any means cool!!!  I soon figured out I was way too crunchy and natural to live in a world where children looked like little dolls and that spending 30 dollars on one outfit was the norm. I am glad that I am now in a smaller city and people let their kids where what they think is fashionable.. Which to me is all that matters.. this place is so much more relaxed and the moms are not as close minded and snooty.. but still I am going to pass on my experiences with being the Metro mom..


What I learned as the Metro mom:

You always have to go out the door with some sort of makeup, Al Natural is not accepted.. If you want to get away with it, clean up yesterdays face and redo and remake that yesterday look

If you have a digital camera, make sure you bring it because most parents are stuck on taking pictures and Posting them on facebook and insta-crap ( i mean instagram)

Having a photographer is cool , try to find one so you can take those cute family moments ( and take up every inch of your house with canvas moments of joy)

You need the mom wagon.. you know what i'm talking about.. maybe through a little spunk in with a Kia  Soul or maybe be a cross over mom, Vans are out!!

Make sure your kids are enrolled in EVERY possible activity that they can get into.. Make sure it is with the most expensive and best company in town!!

Have a nanny or in some cases the one silly chick that will watch your kids so you can go sip on wine while your hubby is too busy in his career to give a crap about your sanity

Make sure your nails look good , you are a mom, not a maid.. your house is martha stuart clean and you shop at Ikea . your house looks fab and so does your clothes

Make sure you by that cute mommy style and make it sexy enough that even the single guys think you are hot!!

Do you get my point?

If you want to be a Metro mom.. you got to be just as plastic and just as fab as the celebrities...

Shame on You JcPenny?

Has any of you seen the add from the back to school commerical of JcPenny if not ill post the link

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=niQSECd1Oag


So after watching the commercial I was surprised to find that the add was not what everyone made it out to be. I was a mom of the Metro area and JcPenny is affordable to most families.. I know If my kids went to school in Dallas it would be a mix of Justice or in most cases for kids Gymboree and or when they where older Abercrombie and Hollister... I know that the term Making it or Breaking it is used too much and in most cases is sooo mis-used in most of daily life. I would like to bring in exhibit A in this case... Me

Mom always had a way to buy me some cute stuff ( or to her it was cute). It was not till I was in 6th grade that my mom let me have control of my outfits and how I dressed.. Most times even when I picked up the popular items I was shot down because it was too expensive, too provocative or too vulgar.  At that time it was sleeveless shirts, extreme tie dyed and swirly patterns and a lot of short mini skirts made popular by Britney spears and Christina A!!!  I tried my best not to be dressed up as the conservative little Bible belt girl as my mom had made me out to be ... It was not flattering for a small chested girl.. it made me look like a boy.. So with new wardrobe ( made to be cool , but conservative) , I went to my first day at 6th grade.. Even with name brand I was the laughing stalk of the group.. I was still too uncool from them and ended up being the bullied kid..

See the thing is no matter what you dress in and no matter the cost, someone somewhere will always have a better outfit, a cooler fashion or something better than you and even if you go and buy it after, someone made it cool before you did and you are a long for the ride.. So the advice for those Kids now days trying to " make it or break it"  ... Let your mind be your guide.. If it looks good to you then dress in it.. Try to have fun and most of all remind you that fashion and clothes don't make who you are, its how you make you!!

Getting ready to Let Go...

" Ugh I knew this day would come.. I'm pacing the floor at the Store and watching her get ready.. First the perfect outfit.. then the perfect shoes and then.. WAIT!!!!!! She isn't that old yet!!!! I cant be looking at a big girl... it isn't possible.. She is still a BABY!!!!"

6 years ago I was holding 4 month old baby girl... I was cooing at her, staying up all night because she had GERD and having to fix countless bottles ( since my milk dried up) and dreaming about this day.  I am thinking about the day she walks to a big yellow school bus waving at me as she goes off into the world.. the one thing I am trying to protect her from..  I dream about nights of homework and nights of staying up her when her heart is broke from a little boy who she likes.. It seems like its too soon in my head.. This little girl is growing up... She no longer wants mommy to play baby dolls.. she would rather get dressed on her own and walk across the street.. We used to read goodnight moon and now we read about history and places far from home.  I am heartbroken because it is one more step to her going to college and then leaving me forever. I have already took her shopping and got that perfect set of shoes and the perfect little backpack with the princesses. She is all ready to take off to the bus and go meet her teacher.. I am blessed that I can share this moment with her!! I am glad that I can work with her on the numbers and letters. I am glad i can teach her how to tie her shoes.. I am blessed to be her mother becuase , honestly I am just blessed to be given such a gift from God...

Now when I lay my head on my pillow tonight I will dream about my daughters first prom and going to get that perfect dress on her wedding day.. I know.. I know.. to soon.. But if 6 years went this fast how fast will the next? Will  I be looking at a woman instead of a girl soon? Will I be just as exited about the next first as all the others... Will she still love me like she loves me now? I guess in the next 12 years ill know.. Because then she is her own person!!

 Until that Day , to the yellow bus we will go!!!


A mom's goodnight poem:

Now I lay me down to sleep
Kids are asleep and havent made a peep
lunches are made and ready to eat

 And if my alarm goes off after I wake
I may have time to pack their cake

I watching my clock and listen to the
husband snore , I cant stand the noisy dog
next door

So in the night , I wake and turn off the lights
and dream of the day
that they grow up and move
away

I go in and kiss thier head and
pray that they will learn their
way 

That they will achieve and dream
and become what they want and
do wonderful things

Now I lay me down to sleep
I close my eyes and try to dream
and hope to sleep before the alarm
again screams...

Summer Fun Part 2

I am looking out a window at a very rainy July, which in itself is weird!!! We have had a fun few weeks. We started off having the water park and park visits. Lately it has been going out and sampling a few things inside and a few outside. We have had plans that we would go to the zoo. But as usual the weather makes it hard for us to leave. Kason doesn't do well with heat and well I am going to make sure that when we go it is late evening so Kason can enjoy it too!  We went to the farmers market two weekends ago and enjoyed it. I ended up buying 17 dollars worth of squash, zucchini, corn, cantaloupe , tomatoes, and local honey!  We went home and well promptly ate the wonderful and delicious food made from the local grown veggies and fruit!! We have been blessed with good health thus far and we have been able to enjoy time away from the doctors office. The 4th of July came and was filled with fun. The hubs and his dad both met with us up at the field near the 7-11 and watched several wonderful little shows and then watched the City's fireworks. I got to spend time with my family amongst the busy work schedule and the madness.. It felt great to be able to celebrate the freedom we have. I feel sadly that the freedom we had before is slowly fading with mans selfishness.. The next day we grilled hamburgers and spent time listening to the radio and let the kids run around.. Then the rains came.. and that they did!!! It has been raining non stop for the last few days ..

Well that might have been the most boring post I made.. I know that as soon as school starts there will be more posts... Kalli's first day and plays and stuff!!

until then..

Kason : Looking back at the last 4 years (7.17.09- 7.17.13)

I am sitting here and looking back over baby pictures and the 4 years that I have been blessed with my sweet boy!! I remember the day that I took the test for him and it came positive..  I was scared out of my mind on how I was going to love another child. I was very happy despite a few people in my life telling me I was messing up ( I was 20 at the time) . My hubs ( at the time fiance) and I where going through a rough time during the time so the pregnancy was already going rough because of the emotions...  I fought through weeks of bleeding, being admitted into the hospital and the constant pang of contractions managed to make it to 36 weeks.. Our son was born right before the shift change and all was wonderful... Breastfeeding was hard and I was not able to nurse on one breast.. I was left again alone with a newborn while the hubs went to work out of city..  Alone I went on .. One day his face broke out in a rash and thus began the path we have been on for the past three and a half years. I have been in a constant tizzy of doctors appointments and constant stress load that would make anyone else loose their marbles.. I would wake up to bloody sheet and a screaming baby most nights.. I feel sick to my stomach just thinking of his screams.. After months of begging we finally got specialists.. But again it was creams and steroids and plenty of heartbreak when that didn't work and his face would again turn to a bloody and raw nightmare.. As we neared his first birthday it seemed to get better... then one big flare knocked him back down .. Again his skin inflamed and bleeding.. My prayer however came true when his eczema went away just enough to take his birthday pictures!! We tried to feed him cake.. and as usual he didnt eat much.. Weeks later I am holding him and rocking him.. He starts to cry and then turns blue... seizing on my lap.. I scream out for him to come back as his lips get darker and darker... I finally get him to breath... We rush him to the hospital.. I know i have told this story a million times.. each time I can feel my heart do the same thing it did when he first had the attack... his body was giving up.. my son was dying.. my heart.. my soul was sick for him.. Looking back i should have knew.. I should have taken him to a different doctor.. Maybe he would not have suffered soo much..  We get past this phase and move into a year of bliss.. Nothing and I mean nothing happens... Infections slowed down and life was normal.... I got my wish on his second birthday.. just for one day of perfect skin... I was able to hug him without him crying and kiss his sweet cheeks without the fear of infection or making him hurt...  We went through that year like nothing had happened.. UNTIL..... His third birthday brought more breakouts and Hives , confused we entered through another phase of complete Hell... It wasn't until this year ( 2013) that what was happening and what had been happening came to light... We finally got him tested for food allergies... and have a new battle since he was diagnosed.. Lots of happy moments clouded by sadness.. hard work and sleepless nights...


Although not everything was Bad... there is moments ( and pictures ) of good times and moments of bliss... Moments that can make the darkest ones seem like nothing.. The videos of him laughing even though his face must have hurt badly... The feeling of being alone and another mother with a child with the same condition writes you and tells you how strong you are and how strong he is and that this too shall pass..  The moments that you watch him blow out his candles , more each year and know that you are going to do everything to protect them.. I know one day ill be looking at a man instead of a little boy... Ill hold a hand bigger than my own....

Most times I wish I would have wrote a letter on the day of their birthdays and present them to them when they become parents.. But ill start now..



My dearest Kason,

My sweet boy know that I love you so very much.. As I am sitting here I think of how precious you are to me.. You know how strong you are? I am amazed by you little boy.. I am amazed by the big boy you are becoming.. I am so blessed to be your mommy!! God put you right where you belong.. Your father and I are so thankful for every precious moment we have had with you.. As you turn 4 I am going to cry a little.. Because you are not going to be little anymore.. You have left the baby stage and moved into boyhood.  You will be able to go to school next year.. and well that is really scary because it seems like not so long ago they handed me a bread loaf sized bundle with a tiny baby in it.. Now my wish for you is that you will grow big and strong.. That you love with no price and that you Know that not just me and daddy love you , but your sister and little brother as well as the Great I Am.. your heavenly Father above!!! He loves you more than you know!!! I pray that you will know his love in the darkest hours... Keep your head up and know that I am always a step behind you... Now while you nap ill watch more videos of you and feel even more blessed becuase when you wake up I know ill have a dozen more to add soon!!!

Love you with all of my heart
Mommy

( Cure For Kason Blog Special) Rants about shopping for safe food

Ask me anything about weather and ill be able to tell you.. if you have been following my blog or my pages you will know that I do storm spotting.. I could tell you anything about changing a cars oil, I was raised by the best car care guy on this earth. But ask me to tell you how to shop for food allergies starts me to a nervous fit...

Since April we have been through the ups and downs of getting Kason used to his new diet.. Where there would be PB sandwiches in the afternoon , there is now special made chicken and noodles or a quick baked potato..  We have been through the biggest change of lifestyle since my hubs left the military..  Changing your diet however has made most of the people ( mostly myself) a little more grumpy and a little less thrilled with food.. What used to be filled with cream of crap ( cream of mushroom ETC) is now filled with white rice and herbs and dairy free butter. Shopping for the newly diagnosed is like a marathon.. You get so far into a label thinking YES we can eat that and the the epic letdown when it says soy letchin or other wonderful dairy, soy or peanut products!! I have had to make my shopping trips easier by leaving the kids with the hubs so that I can get something that will not cause Kason any harm..  What used to take me AN hour now makes me think I need to just move in.. My last visit caused me to come home and raise my hands up in retreat..

I started by cutting the processed stuff out of our diet , that would include my favorite frozen pizza fix.. I have start cooking more fresh foods.. Instead of more junk there is fruit and veggies.. Instead of tons of trips to the store it now is visits to the farmers market for fresh meat and fresh veggies.. I am not worried about what I am feeding him , its all labeled clearly.  I choose not to be worried anymore. I am giving my child the best thing .. We are super exited about the non GMO foods and meats ( yes you can have GMO meat because they eat GMO grains)

Lists have become my best friend, there is so many additives that are on the no no lists for Kason, The companies have to label for the main 8 allergens.. but guess what they can hide milk with whey and soy in lecthin . I am sickened that these companies don't want to label.. what are they afraid of? Loosing business? I am concerned about what is to come in the future.. Will my son ever be safe?

Summer Adventures Part 1

Normally I have found myself wondering when I will find the time to write this post out.. Here we are in mid June and summer has had the ability to sneak by and make my post more daunting to write. Please forgive any typos.. I am writing with Kaleb in my lap ( he likes to help)..

So we started off summer with a Bang ( more like a rumble) . It rained the majority of the last few weeks of May... My birthday came and so did a storm that blew us away ( quite literally). I went out for my third storm chase in all the years of storm spotting.. I got to sit and look at the sky as a beautiful super-cell came barreling down on me.. I also got to experience the feeling of 90 mph winds again.. Again I am mystified by the beauty of the weather God blesses this earth with.. We finally got Kason's results and now are dealing with the difference in Diet.. Lord knows we are going to loose weigh or loose our sanity trying to find something that tastes good!A week before May ended I received a call from a local reporter asking to do a surprise for Kason! May came and went and left back memories that will last a LIFETIME!!!!

June started off like May was, rainy and windy.. Finally the heat came on and we where left with a dusty, windy, and hot week of hell ( it would have made u only wish we had snow and ice again) . June 10th we where surprised with the Abilene police Department, Abilene Fire Department and the Metro care EMT giving us the coolest show of love and support of my sweet boy! They turned on their sirens and came out to see Kason and give him several gifts.. I was thankful for them coming out and the Local news station did the story to raise awareness on such a serious health condition.. I am blessed to have my communities support!! We also have been frequenting the Splash Park and the Parks as of late.. I have forgotten something as simple as a tree or a swing can wear the kids out.. Last week had tested my ability to figure out what was an allergic reaction.. Kason was bit by fire ants and had to be taken to the hospital with a swollen arm and hives... We are now fighting off a viral whatever .. while we will get better .. it has alerady made life interesting!!

I guess tune in later for part 2!!!

When seconds count

I know I have been writing a lot about my son as of late. His health issues have consumed me to the nitty gritty and even the blog had taken backseat since his diagnosis. I have been so busy with doctors appointments and life that I am missing some of the neat things that Abilene has to share. I am also about to move again and try to start off a new. I will explain all that later in another post. Maybe I need to name it " finally ( hopefully) getting it together." I have been in a sea of new medical terms and tests and I am lost.. honestly I am lost. I wanted to share something with you, though it has only been a week ago.. the feelings are still soo raw and I hope to pass this on to other people. I hope that no one else will have to deal with it.


I tucked my son into bed a week ago thinking that it would be another typical week night. The routine has been the same for the last few weeks. It has been : bath, brush teeth, bed story, kisses and hugs and prayers and then sleep.. He fell asleep pretty fast as he normally does, his little blue eyes finally closing after a long day of fun. I go outside for a bit on my porch and chat with the neighbors ( which live right across from me) and then manage to get tired enough to go to bed. Since we had bad weather I was watching a little bit of the weather channel and enjoying another quite night. I fall asleep and drift into a deep sleep. Suddenly I hear screaming and what sounds like vomiting. I rush out of my bed to meet my son in the hallway. I notice he is wheezing and is visibly having breathing issues, even in the shadows his skin looked pale. I put his nebulizer machine together and start to give him a breathing treatment. I notice that there are blotches on his skin and turn on the light. I noticed the hives and then noticed his lip color. He was having an allergic reaction, unfortunately not caught in time to give meds. I called his father to tell him to get ready to leave and meet us at the hospital. I called 911 and prepared to give him his epi pen.. As I was on the phone the fear washed over me, my son could die!! What did he eat, what could he have eaten here, the house is cleaned out of unsafe foods. I start to sob and sing to him to make him calm.. I noticed that the symptoms where not getting any better and administer it . I hear the click and then hear a loud sob.. I again started to sob and held my son still while the medicine injected. After the dose was given I see the color start to come back.. He is coming back to me.. By that time I am off the phone and the sirens are coming closer.. Good they will take him where he needs to go.. I put his nebulizer mask back on just to give him air and I pick him up and rock him .. I try to gather myself and start to sing to him... you are my sunshine.. I smile at him and tell him that he is the strongest little boy i have ever known.. All the while my head is dancing with thoughts.. I allow the medics to take him and transport  to the hospital, i stayed back home with the other two.. all the while i am on the phone with his father. After awhile his dad gets off the phone and i am left alone... in silence.. I go to his room to make his bed and ready it for him to get home.. praying that they will release him..

While all this took me an hour to write it took 5 short minutes and 1 Epi pen.. in that short amount of time, my son could have died... He could have taken his last breath..

What most people do not know is how fast that this happens.. Seconds count, not minutes.. please know that this can be any child... that a shell from a peanut or a handshake after and ice cream could be deadly.. 

 

 

Being a mom of a food allergy Child : Food Allergy Awareness Week

I had always thought nothing of my Kids eating a peanut butter cracker on the playground or carrying around a cone of ice cream at the park until my son was diagnosed with food allergies. I had always thought that people who talked about food allergies where over worried and over concerned parents not wanting to feed their kids a certain food. Now that I am a mom of a newly diagnosed child with food allergies , and it is down right scary!! I have now become even more paranoid of the places I go daily and the things I touch. I have never thought of the impact would be so hard!! At first it was relief after years of wondering what was wrong with my child, why he would break out in huge rashes and have multiple asthma attacks. I spent hours in a ER, been through two surgeries and two hospital stays. Now I have nightmares of my son eating a peanut and having to give him his Epi-Pen and the look on his face from the last attack he had ( he was scared) .. I have been back and forth in my mind of all the changes I am going to have to make for him. I know it seems like having a child with food allergies ( and other health issues) would be annoying, tiring and stressful, But  I have learned it is much more than that.

1. Its waking up in the middle of the night from your baby crying because he cant breath well. As you sit there singing his favorite lullaby holding his Neb mask on his face you think of the last time you cuddled and realized it was weeks ago
2. Going to the park and watching him have freedom away from the house ( all the while you are praying there is nothing on the slide that will make him sick)
3. Going to a doctors office and making wonderful friends with the staff and them telling you are a good parent ( how can I be, my child is suffering and there is nothing i can do)
4. Having the talk over and over about what your child is allergic to until they can tell you what they are allergic to. ( its even harder with a slightly non verbal child)
5. Going to do blood draws and allowing them to have that big sucker he saw in the hospital window ( even though you dont want them to have all that sugar)

I am pleading with the parents with children that do not have food allergies to consider us. We may be the mom that yells louder at a PTA meeting, or the mom who brings the weird snacks for her child at soccer practice.  Please remember our children because what wont harm your child , can kill ours. I ask for family members not to downplay my concern and feed my child something that could harm them, I have rules for a reason. I ask for the media to pick these stories up and make it as popular as cancer stories or world news.. Our children deserve the attention and all the help we can get! It would make our nights easier , maybe we can sleep. It would make our kids relax and be able to enjoy going out to eat somewhere or go to the park and play freely.

Come one, come all to the opening of the farmers market!!

So it is going to be an exiting day this coming Saturday!! For most people here in Abilene it is the day the Farmers market opens! I like many other people are exited about going!!! I can't wait to see what our local farmers have grown !! I like many other "crunchy" moms like the idea of fresh foods without all the processed crap as well as less of a carbon footprint!! Most of our fruit we buy at stores are not even from this country!! Can you imagine what would happened if we got rid of the GMO foods? We would be able to survive without the threats of cancer, food allergies, obesity and the growing countless health issues caused by Monsanto and the other evil companies! What about giving back to the people that grow these foods? Would there be less food stamps if foods where grown locally and cheaper?

This is the perfect chance for me to get the word out  EAT LOCAL!!!  I have always heard from my grandma about how much she loved the seasons because each one brought a food that she was not able to eat until that time of the year. I am sure that this weekend will bring me excitement like it did for her. I only can think about all the money that is going to go to the local economy and help bring up the options to make Abilene beautiful !

So what am I going to look for this weekend
Fruits-  Strawberries, lemons, kiwis, cherries, grapefruit
Veggies- red potatoes, lettuce and carrots
Meats- beef and chicken
Herbs- all of them if i can ( i plan to dry them on a string in my kitchen)

I am also in the look for fresh local honey to help with my sons allergies and skin issues and maybe get him off his allergy meds when his body builds up an immunity. I am also looking for homeade soaps and lotions!!


I cant think of another better way to spend my weekend , but to eat fresh fruits and visit with local farmers and the people that make up this beautiful city!!

Food allergies Part 3: The Allergist Appointment

Well as usual I am late blogging and getting my act together for the blog! I am super happy that we made it to see the doctor and was just happy to get it over with. I am glad that we have gotten this far, but like usual.. we are far from being done!!!

Thursday we all packed up and went to the Allergist. I was super ready to have answers and to move forward. When we finally made it I looked inside and noticed there must of been over a dozen people in that building!! I was concerned that this appointment would take forever and make me and the kids home for dinner and bed. We checked in and like always there is at least 30 pages of paperwork and the less than thrilled receptionist. As I was filling out the paperwork Kason was bouncing all over the place and laughing. It took them about 30 minutes to call us back to the closet like room. The nurse talked to me and asked me why we where here. I showed her the pictures and told her what we had been through for our son.  She told me that most mothers that come through have storied similar to that and that my son was one in many children with severe skin and food allergies , not to leave out the nagging asthma we have already had to deal with.  We chatted and then told me he would be in shortly. I sat there looking around the room and eyed a few of the doctors told, many in which i was familiar with because it was used on me at one point. When the doctor entered the room we talked for a minute and then he cut me off ( rudely actually) and told me that we would have to test again, why didn't we have an allergist before and that I needed to go out and buy a steam cleaner, bed covers and other hypoallergenic stuff to go into my house. I left the room to be shoved into another , handed material and was shoved out that door.. Nothing on diet, nothing on how to manage his symptoms, just another blood test and a flyer on

Honestly while I would have loved to learn a lot more with my sons allergies, I was given very little. Sickened with lack of help I needed. So now I have to wait till the blood test comes back again ( 2 week wait) and then we go back as he deems necessary and do oral challenges.. While I am happy we went, I am not happy I was treated the way I was!!!

What would Jesus do : Thoughts on lifestyles and gossip

As I am sitting here writing I am shaking my head. I can't believe how as of late things have become a whirlwind of drama and pointless fighting. I do admit like every human being I have my weaknesses and I do fall short of how God wants me to be. Last weekend was brought to my attention how I have never seen the kind of hurt it can do, until it happened to me. Honestly I got myself into the situation where the gossip and assumptions where made and well it caused a lot of hurt within my family dynamics .. While my relationship with my Hunny is no where where it needs to be due to us both neglecting it, we have enough sense to know if something is true or not. That's what most people do not understand , what you say and do can hurt or even destroy a friendship or a relationship. Looking back now I see I was so totally wrong about how I handled this situation and have asked God to forgive me. Now looking forward I know what I can do and how to deal with it. Forgiving and forgetting is so hard , but it's worth it.

Weeks ago I also made assumptions about a person I do not know . I don't know who she is, how her life is, or why she does the things she does. I made the wrong choice of being the onlooker and laughing. This woman may be lost and needs someone to show her how God loves us no matter our sins or our choices . I feel like I have seen a little of her in me at times . I have thought many times I would go over there and tell her if she needed anything to let me know. See Jesus loved even the people the world didn't love. The outcasts and the "jezebels" . He only asks us to follow him and forget our old lives. I plan soon to show that un-judgmental love , honestly even if it doesn't get me anywhere I have the peace of mind that I tried to help and possibly save someone else from the destructiveness that can be made by our lifestyles.

While I have been victim to gossip I have also have been guilty of dishing it out. I have been the one laughing , but I have lately been the one laughed at. Honestly I could care less what people say, or how much people like me. I am however going to watch what I say about other people, because when you talk about someone, your also pointing out your own flaws. I have many, to many in fact.. I wish I could have said sorry to the people it effected. I am choosing to let the Devil use that as a for, of hiding on what I really need to fix. While I am laughing at someone with relationship issues, I have them myself. While I am laughing at the issues of others, I am really laughing at myself.

What's wrong with this world is we have forgotten how to love, how to trust and how to forgive. I think it is never to late to do better, to make better choices and to let one more person that may not feel loved, get the love they need. I plan on going to church Sunday.. Even if it is by myself and asking God to forgive me.. I want to do better, not only for myself but for my family.. I want his presence to rule over my house and fill it til it is bursting at the seems . I feel like if I can start now, then maybe I can save this all before it is to late and be there for the ones that like me , walked in the shoes of judgment and gossip, un-happy and alone.

Food allergies part 2: Path to wellness

It's been a few weeks since my first post about our path to finding our about Kasons food allergies and how we are going to treat them.. We figured that Kason had several food allergies after getting several bouts of hives and eczema when he was a baby. Why they didn't test him till now makes me wonder why ? Why would they just treat the after effect of a breakout instead of investigate it. We left most of Kason's medical records that we copied with the speech therapist and I looked through them as well.. I noticed after reading through them that between the ages of 6 months to a year , Kason's health took a turn.. He didn't gain weight and he barely gained any height.. Why didn't they notice that? Why did we have to go through multiple infections and breakouts without further testing? Now I feel like I have been cheated out of what could have been a normal babyhood for Kason... He could have had clear skin and been able to smile when his mommy and daddy played and it would not have hurt. Now looking back his doctors never tried... They just gave him medicine to comfort him..

We finally did get into the doctors office and scheduled with an allergist and made sure that we had the options opened for us as we have never had them opened before. At first his pediatrician was talking immunotherapy. The thought of weakening my son's immune system made me mad. Why would I weaken what is protecting my son from getting another infection. The second option was even worse ( in my opinion) . We looked into allergy doctors and found one that would suit him to tailor to his needs.. While I am exited we are getting this far, I am also skeptical.. What if he never grows out of theses allergies? What will we have to do as far as diet? What is the next step for him? I spent the better part of three weeks after the original RAST. Test to figure out what we can do as far as food... I am already shocked with things I didn't know.. I was shocked to know there was so much out there that is marked hypo allergenic and really it isnt.

Well here goes to the two week wait!! I am ready to get some answers!!

Food Allergies Suck : Part 1

A  long time ago we started the road to figuring out what was the matter with my sweet boy. We would wake up and have to clean up bloody sheets from where he itched himself to the point his skin was raw. Well fast forward till now after all the problems , we finally have an answer. Little did I know that we would be faced with food allergies. I was always aware that his face would flare with certain foods, but never did i once think he had food allergies until a few months ago when a trip out somewhere became less than fun. I had fed Lil man some cookies from the mall. We decided shortly after leaving the mall that we would go out to dinner. After being there for a bit Lil man complained that his stomach hurting and that he felt like he was going to throw up. I took him ti the bathroom only for him to burp or say he felt better. I returned to the table and told the hubs we needed to leave. I packed up the remaining parts of dinner and started to walk to the truck. We had only gotten three steps out the door until i had to help Lil man throw up all over the place. His face was red and his cheeks had hives all over them. I knew then it was , and talked to the doctor. He ordered a test called a RAST test . Although he didn't order the Food panel our ENT was curious why he still had a lot of trouble after having his tonsils and adenoids taken out. Before we got the test results we had another episode which was the end of the stick for me. Kason ( lil man) ate peanuts out at the restaurant. We again started to notice the hives and the cough. It wasn't until he told me his tummy hurt that I realized that it was time to go. We got to the truck and his then clear cough sounded more raspy . As I sat there with him i noticed more and more that he needed to be given his inhaler and some Benadryl . We sat there with the cold air blasting and his mask over his face so that he could get as many puffs as possible. After a few minute his face started to clear and he started to able to breath. He became calm and started to smile and play like he did before. I was still in shock with what happened. I noticed however that he had the runs for a few days and broke out on his bottom with the same hives and had the poops to go with it. We discussed this and decided on a full panel RAST. We received the results a week later and went to an appointment to discuss it. The nurse came in and told us that she was glad we where there and there was a lot to talk over. She started off by telling me that Kason is VERY allergic to tree nuts and Peanuts and that we need to stay away from them and then asked for me to go pick up his Epi pen on the way out. She  also asked me to please be careful as well with pork and Soy. As i sat there my heart began to race because I was thinking about all the times that we had given Kason peanut butter or cookies with walnuts and pecans. It could have killed him!! Upon leaving i went to the pharmacy inside the doctors building and bought him a sucker ( just a sugar cane sucker) and sat and read through all the results. It amazed me how our bodies protect us from something that can hurt us and how a allergic reaction is only something that is protecting us from something harmful!! Now we are finally able to begin the steps to getting him well!! It has been too long!!

Remembering to take it slow

So we finally moved into a new place. With an apartment was not my first choice of places it has suited us just fine. I am glad that the multiple hotel hopping is over!! We have been here about three weeks now and it has been amazing. I love the neighbors and the kids finally have friends to play with and a safe place to play at!  We have already had our issues as far as a few things breaking and stuff missing from boxes, but i think that we will get organized just fine. As most of you know we started to cloth diaper and well that has been fun to figure how many days we can go without washing them! But with all the hub-bub, we have managed to find peace with the new place ( even if it is only a year )while unpacking i kept coming across pictures of myself and my parents ( Emma & Popi ) . I was overwhelmed with emotion and realized how fast life really goes. Listening to music i heard a country song that reminded me to slow down and enjoy these days because i would want them back. Some of me does want them back now. I miss my yellow swing set and my husky. I miss staying up with my friends during the summer and roasting twigs over the grill and catching them on fire only to hear my father ( popi ) get onto me about catching things on fire. Now i am a mother of three and my oldest ( Kalli) will be 6 in April! I feel like i need a remote to just pause and be able to see life still for a minute. I will miss this all one day.. the little fights between Kalli and Kason.. Kaleb will no longer be nursing and will no longer come cuddle in my bed one day. I am blessed that the hub's will be there to keep me warm ( or so i pray). Someday ill have Grey hair and it will be their turn to take care of me. One day I will be the one needing care. One day i will have to say goodbye to my best friend.. Until then I vow to keep my cool and take it slower..

Switching to Cloth Diapers

Many years ago while helping in the nursery at church I saw my first cloth diaper. It was bulky and clipped down with a safety-pin, it was also held down with a plastic panty looking thing. I was dumbfounded by how to change this thing as I had only changed disposable. Finally after looking at it for a minute called one of the adult supervisors ( as I was 11 at the time) and let them change the baby. I asked my dad as we where driving back why would someone put that on a baby. Later on I was told that they where cloth diaper and that a lot of people used them. He went on to tell me that shortly after before I was born the disposable diaper was made. He told me the only reason that they did disposable was because a friend of theirs gave them free diapers. He worked for Procter and Gamble and stocked the shelves and every package that was torn open was supposed to be thrown away. ( WHAT A WASTE) He decided however to take the torn packages to his home and store them and give them to friends and family that needed them.

Seven years later I was going to be a mom. I was looking at everything I needed for my daughter after she was born. Not long after I was asked if I was going to cloth diaper by a friend of mine. I told her no and that it was sooo old fashioned. She started sending me pictures of super cute cloth diapers and the woolies that went over them. I was jealous of all the cute designs and the cute outfits that went with them. I decided that i was not going to be able to afford the cloth diapers and continued to stock up on disposable. Even with my tiny check it would have taken till she was already one to make enough for a stash!! I gave up on my quest and continued with disposable's.

It wasnt until this last December that the offer of cloth diapers was given to me. I had thought about it long and hard.. I wanted to cloth diaper!! I was tired of buying diapers and I was tired of having to spend the majority of our paychecks on wipes and diapers.  Graciously the women who where in the cloth diaper group I joined donated several cloth diapers to me to help off set the cost of the moving we where having to do. While I was scared to death at the idea, I was also so exited!! After a few weeks I was able to get my washes mastered!! We had one small hiccup when mini chick decided he was going to poop and not let me know.. His rear end was as red as a sunburn!! Luckily I had the best group of ladies ever to help me!!  Now it is my normal routine to get up and wash then stuff the diapers and get ready for the rest of the day.. I finally got what I wanted!!

Update:
I would like to say that after a month and a half in cloth we have saved over 150 dollars!! It sure does pay off going green!!

Why this west Texas mom is going crunchy

Years ago we would never think of names for different types of people and the labels we give them!  Remember in high school it would be the geeks and the jocks? What happens when you move out of the school age to adults? Shakespeare said " what's in a name!" We call one person crunchy and another modern, one person liberal and another conservative . But why? What's the meaning? Why the label?  I would like to think that I do not have a label .. But as with everyone I was given the label..

Definition of crunchy:
Adjective. Used to describe persons who have adjusted or altered their lifestyle for environmental reasons. Crunchy persons tend to be politically strongly left-leaning and may be additionally but not exclusively categorized as vegetarians, vegans, eco-tarians, conservationists, environmentalists, neo-hippies, tree huggers, nature enthusiasts, etc.

Definition of granola:
An adjective used to describe people who are environmentally aware (flower child, tree-hugger), open-minded, left-winged, socially aware and active, queer or queer-positive, anti-oppressive/discriminatory (racial, sexual, gender, class, age, etc.) with an organic and natural emphasis on living, who will usually refrain from consuming or using anything containing animals and animal by-products (for health and/or environmental reasons), as well as limit consumption of what he or she does consume, as granola people are usually concerned about wasting resources. Usually buy only fair-trade goods and refrain from buying from large corporations, as most exploit the environment as well as their workers, which goes against granola core values. The choice of not removing body hair (see amazon) and drug use are not characteristics that define granola people, and people, regardless of granola status, may or may not partake in said activities. This definition is sometimes confused with hippy.

I am sitting here laughing as I write to because like my dear hubby said " Oh Lord please don't become a tree hugger!"  My reply was just laughing and rolling my eyes.. I was laughing because its true!! I am becoming a Eco loving, natural living junkie!! I remember my dad describing the hippies he saw.. Now while I won't be dressing in bell bottoms and the dyed shirts and braiding my hair.. I will be more careful with what The Lord has given me.  While most people search for a better way of living wether by choices or faith, I chose both.  Now while the psychedelics of the 60's are over there is a new age of a movement. It isn't against wars,  and it isn't against politics. It about restoring and conserving what we have . While most people are buying packs of water at the store I am buying a glass bottle to refill and I eat cage free and free range eggs. I trade and barter while people shop at Neman Marcus .  I decided long ago I was tired of the waste of our nation. I watch children go hungry in the richest nation.. Have we forgotten how to grow our own food?! Instead of buying huge strollers and expensive cribs, I choose to wear my children in a wrap and let them sleep close to mommy.. I have learned so much from the last 5 years as a mother . I have changed what I put in my body, how I have done my hair, what products I use in my house.  Why would I change the life I have always had? What was the reason behind the change?

Almost 6 years ago I was sitting in front of my computer looking at baby items waiting for my daughter to be born.. While I didn't have the money for the deluxe model crib , I was given one to use ( I can't complain!! It was a 400 dollar crib) . I made use out of something that had already received a lot of love from the previous owner. I didn't have a expensive stroller or play pen with the vibrating side and the bells and whistles.. I had what I needed!! While it was well loved it did what I needed it to!! I also went and bought second hand clothes and baby items (safe second used). Now years later I just retired the old broken down playpen which has held and kept 3 children safe and comfortable.  I no longer have the crib that was given to me. I passed it on to another mother in need. I now have a second hand toddler bed and a room full of well loved antiques and my mother in laws furniture. Why use something old and used? I can buy something at Ikea for less than it would to be less than restoring the old chest of drawers she had . It is the history, It is the use of something until its time has come and it becomes nothing more than good firewood!!

I started to feel a renewal of life in my house, a feeling of a start. My biggest accomplishment was getting off modern and western medicine for my health. I quit popping Tylenol for my pain and used hot water bottles and epsom salt. I grew herbs and I made my own spaghetti sauce !! I noticed a change in the way my body acted. While with my daughter I formula fed , I have breastfed my two sons.. While I had medicine in labor with my older children, my youngest was the first baby I had naturally!! I am in love with it!! I feel renewed and one with The Lord !! The world he gave me was the same he gave to Adam and Eve !! I have been given something to be a good caregiver to. While this is my home for such a small time , I can rejoice in its beauty for I find The Lord in each thunderstorm and I find his power with the winds of the spring!!

So part of my blog will keep up with the journey of changing from wasteful to fruitful, from modern to natural.. I can't promise I know everything, but I will do what comes to me from faith!! I will change my life to what he wants me to be!! I will do with what he gives me to his glory!!

Mommies and babies and breasts oh my!! (Hollister nurse in)

I know I am late posting about this because we have again all been sick!! I am exited to say I went to my second nurse in!! While I am a big fan of them , I have seen the good, the bad and the ugly. I went to the Hollister nurse in on the 5th of January.. While I am ever busy with the hotline calls , I decided to go to something and support a mother who had been harassed! The last one I went to was when Michelle Hickman had been harassed at a Target for nursing in public.  While I was nervous the last time for nursing without a cover, this time was a breeze!!  When I arrived I did not expect the mass amounts of smiling faces and babies! I was exited!! I was able to start talking to people and connecting with them.. It was odd because last time I was just nervous about being there that I didn't talk much. This time I was able to bond with the women I was with immediately!! As we talked we saw the security guards watching from afar!! At first we thought that they where going to approach us and tell us that we needed to leave, but after a hour they left and went about their business. We talked about what we wanted for the future!!

After an hour we left and went about our lives.. I went back to being the advocate that I was before and always will be . See if it wasn't for these women, I fear that the opinions and the scolds would not end. We need this sisterhood of women to band together and get our lives so much easier. Numbers talk louder than words sometimes.. I only hope this helps my daughter in the future.. I pray she never feels like we have and is thankful for all the women before her that paved the way for her children and herself!! I pray my sons learn to respect women and her rights, if they do I will know I did the right job!

Until next time!!

Holiday joys and its woes ( Part 2)

Well I guess this is my second and last installment into my holiday blog.

The few weeks that I have been in the Big D I have been steadily busy . First weekend was a Christmas party with the entire family.. The chicks where very exited to see the family. After some snacks and presents we went home to enjoy some wonderful family time.. The next weekend was the big nurse-in for hollister and the last weekend was football and family fun.. I am slowly starting to get used to 2013... I do not miss 2012... I was a sand paper rough kind of year.. Just everything was nity gritty..

I didn't really make resolutions because , well they never come true.. I am tired of making them and they never get done.. I may in the few weeks coming make goals for the New Years... Until then I will enjoy all what this New Years has for me.. God willing it will be full of blessings and new beginnings!!!

Well until next time folks

Gooday

Holiday joys and its woes ( Part 1)

So here I am eating left over chicken nuggets and sitting in my moms leather chair..  The last few weeks have been interesting .. We have had to move again.. I am staying with my family until the house that the hubs is working on is  done. As much as I would love to say I am ok with all of this , unfortunately I am not.. I can't help to think about the movie " The Lampoons Christmas Vacation". You remember the part where the brother in the trailer shows up with his dog Snots.. The entire family from that point on after the arrival of the other family members was one catastrophe after another..  That is my feeling about all of this.. It wasn't until I stepped out of the car that I first entered leaving that trashed out trailer did I feel a little sigh of relief..  Maybe it was like ahh this is home.. But not for long....

 It all started about a week before Christmas and my house was swarming with the thoughts of Christmas and the trip that I had planned .. It was all a wonderful and fuzzy feeling.. You know that one when so many people are willing to give and love one another for one time ..  That feeling was soon gone with a knock at the door. It was a local constable handing us eviction paperwork.. I read  thought the pages and the reason was ridiculous.. The main reason for evicting us was the neighbors bird that we happened to be watching while they fixed their house .

Now we had a good Christmas and we where at least able to cook Christmas dinner .. We started getting into gear with packing and getting rid of stuff that didn't need to go with us.. While that was going on I was making plans to go to Big D with my parents.. Emma chick arrived on the 27th and we left out for Big D .. Leaving the hubs to finish the rest of the packing and moving.. Now while everything is nestled nicely into our storage shed, we had a Christmas party... It was great!!! I missed seeing my grandma!!!

Well got to go.. Ill write more about it later!! The chicks are into something

All I can Hear is SIlence

Friday morning I woke up thinking about my children and the plans for the Holidays. I turned on the news and there was this horrific scene of police running around a school. There was mothers and fathers rushing to a fire station to find their children.. there was shrieks and screams of children crying because they where scared. I heard the news that every parent in America dreaded. Another school shooting had just happened.. Another senseless act of violence had happened.


School shootings have been around since I was a child. In 1999 it was Columbine, I was only 11.. after that there is to many to name. I am sickened to think of all the lives that have been cut short due to someones selfish desire to make a name for themselves , or too sick to even care. I feel like my innocence was cut short worrying if someone was going to come and shoot me. After seeing the horror on TV as a pre-teen I wondered if I was safe. We would do practice lockdown and we would have police come and talk to us... We would plan for the worst, we would drill and get the idea that this could happen. My sophomore year I was in my Biology class when over the speaker we where under a bomb threat and that we needed to evacuate... At that moment I gathered all of my things and left with the class and stood outside. We stood in the parking lot as the sirens drew closer.. and all I heard was <strong>silence</strong>.. I saw my classmates worried.. you could see the teachers concerned.  After about an hour outside we where all released home. The parents shuffled here and there and I walked home. That night my parents and I had a talk about how we are all blessed to be here and that we all need to be thankful for each day we get. Ten years later I am blogging about it.. I would never imagine that 10 years later I would be writing about this...

Later that evening I got onto the phone with my father.. I cried with him on the phone and asked him why? Why would someone go into a school and kill 20 innocent children!! My father was quite on the line. He didn't say a word.. We talked about faith.. we talked about illness... we talked about how things where when we where children. It doesn't matter what race we are .. It only matters that we need a change. We need sick people treated, we need people screened more carefully when getting a gun licence. Parents need hope that sending their children to school will mean that they will come back on the same bus... That we will be able to watch them grow up. But because of that man, there is 20 children being laid to rest. 20 lives cut short. We blame the man who killed them, his illness... But we can't just blame him.. we need to blame everything. The way the world is.. We need change.. What change it will be, I am unsure. I just hope that this change means I can watch my children grow and not have to bury them early.

The Reason For The Season

After our bout of being ill , we decided to clean the house and put up whatever decorations we had. I was depressed we didn't have a tree to put up and had come to peace with it. After my dear hub's had told me the news that it had gotten wet in a roof leak, I had thought maybe it would be ok. The kicker was he put it outside while they worked on the house and it began to rain. So here we are the second week in December and no tree... No presents... Nothing to help bring in the Christmas spirit. I decided to look in the Facebook garage sale pages and groups.. None of them had a tree in my budget range, most wanting too much. I had also looked at new trees to buy and my search was futile, there was nothing to be bought. 

One night I sat on the computer and the idea was passed along in a group i was in ,to start a page to post requests to help families that needed help. A local woman made a page  and quickly started to ask for items. With that i asked her if anyone she knew had a tree they could donate and i would gladly get together some clothes as a barter of sorts. Kevin and I had not had an easy year.. With moving and the messes we had, we needed help. I also had thought of the families that needed clothes and went through the closet and found everything my children had outgrew and that I could donate... Hours later I was told she had a tree for me and we met and exchanged the items that I had. Loading the tree I knew that the spirit of Christmas had arrived and I felt very complete.

Two hours later Christmas music is blaring and the kids and I are putting together the tree... We smile and laugh and enjoy some time together.. My husband grumbling because the thing sheds.. I  gladly was able to start the songs and the lessons.. Most of all what this all really means... So my chicks and I sat on the floor and I read them the story of our Saviors birth and his love and his gift of life to us. I wanted them to understand that Christmas tree's are great and and presents are great, but most of all the real reason for this all is our faith in and love of Jesus Christ!!! His birth and death gave us the best example of how we are to act.

Jesus is the reason for the season!!

Sicky Icky week!!

Last week my house was the ground zero for tissues , runny noses and cough drops.Yes you guessed it, We had a cold. Kaleb ( nugget) seemed to have the lease symptoms but the most nasal drainage.i must have had to suction his nose every 30 minutes. My house was alive with wails of both boys crying about their throats and needing my hubby needing a cough drop.   Kalli ( bug-bug)  had to listen to this all week and weekend and has still to this day not fallen sick... We all sat and watched movies and talked a lot about the upcoming holidays!!!  I fell ill a few days later and while I enjoy the much needed rest while I am sick.. I barely got any... Between Kaleb ( nugget) and Kason ( lil man)  I was up and down tending to them...  We ended up feeling better and moving on.. The funny thing is that after all of that , I am still finding random used tissues that I so carefully made sure where in the trash. We finished the last of the nasty sick glasses and dishes and watched two movies!!! 

Now that we are well I reflect back and the funny thing is, each time my friends kids get sick.. Regardless where they are .... I can bet mine are not far from being next in line.. I actually begged God to allow us some kind of illness ( minus the stomach flu and flu) so that we could stay healthy while we where celebrating Christmas. Now two weeks later , we have had our illness and are content to stay away from everyone ...  Now it's planning the next step of this madness.. The tree and the presents!

Moving To West Texas

Moving here was like that moment you are standing on a diving board and looking down to 20+ feet deep water!! It felt like the biggest choice of my life. I could have stayed in the Metroplex, but with the hubby's business and the kids needing somewhere more settled to live we moved... I wanted to get the freedom that for three years was impossible due to living in Poppi and Emma and Memaw  house.  So to West Texas i moved... all of the things i had fit in the back of our truck and a trailer!!! Five years of my life had been working, taking care of MeMaw  ( my grandmother)  and raising my lil chicks!!

Upon moving here I was brought into some of the most amazing and crazy new experiences. Instead of having a Mall and a Highway close by with music and sirens blaring all the time, I was moved to quite tranquility !! I was amazed how people acted. In the Big city I was just a face... here i was someone!! We slowly started to get out and meet new people.. Now my life is full of playdates, mom's night out and soon T ball and Ballet!!  We moved shortly after getting out here to another house ( ehem trailer) for the time being .. We cannot wait till next spring to move into something bigger and better!!  While life has not been the best financially we did agree to split with Poppi and Emma Cluck on renting a house.. Honestly i think they caught the I don't want to live in the metro  and want to move to somewhere cheaper and a lot less noisey!! Hubby ( the hubs)  is working hard and keeping us going .. we have had a few hiccups this year, but have otherwise somewhat recovered!! Hopefully the next year will bring relief!!  The kids and I are looking forward to having more freedom this next spring to go places and enjoy life!!! We will be more active and explore this city!!!