As I am sitting here writing I am shaking my head. I can't believe how as of late things have become a whirlwind of drama and pointless fighting. I do admit like every human being I have my weaknesses and I do fall short of how God wants me to be. Last weekend was brought to my attention how I have never seen the kind of hurt it can do, until it happened to me. Honestly I got myself into the situation where the gossip and assumptions where made and well it caused a lot of hurt within my family dynamics .. While my relationship with my Hunny is no where where it needs to be due to us both neglecting it, we have enough sense to know if something is true or not. That's what most people do not understand , what you say and do can hurt or even destroy a friendship or a relationship. Looking back now I see I was so totally wrong about how I handled this situation and have asked God to forgive me. Now looking forward I know what I can do and how to deal with it. Forgiving and forgetting is so hard , but it's worth it.
Weeks ago I also made assumptions about a person I do not know . I don't know who she is, how her life is, or why she does the things she does. I made the wrong choice of being the onlooker and laughing. This woman may be lost and needs someone to show her how God loves us no matter our sins or our choices . I feel like I have seen a little of her in me at times . I have thought many times I would go over there and tell her if she needed anything to let me know. See Jesus loved even the people the world didn't love. The outcasts and the "jezebels" . He only asks us to follow him and forget our old lives. I plan soon to show that un-judgmental love , honestly even if it doesn't get me anywhere I have the peace of mind that I tried to help and possibly save someone else from the destructiveness that can be made by our lifestyles.
While I have been victim to gossip I have also have been guilty of dishing it out. I have been the one laughing , but I have lately been the one laughed at. Honestly I could care less what people say, or how much people like me. I am however going to watch what I say about other people, because when you talk about someone, your also pointing out your own flaws. I have many, to many in fact.. I wish I could have said sorry to the people it effected. I am choosing to let the Devil use that as a for, of hiding on what I really need to fix. While I am laughing at someone with relationship issues, I have them myself. While I am laughing at the issues of others, I am really laughing at myself.
What's wrong with this world is we have forgotten how to love, how to trust and how to forgive. I think it is never to late to do better, to make better choices and to let one more person that may not feel loved, get the love they need. I plan on going to church Sunday.. Even if it is by myself and asking God to forgive me.. I want to do better, not only for myself but for my family.. I want his presence to rule over my house and fill it til it is bursting at the seems . I feel like if I can start now, then maybe I can save this all before it is to late and be there for the ones that like me , walked in the shoes of judgment and gossip, un-happy and alone.
No comments:
Post a Comment